Tourniquet
by A Jedi and Her Kitten
Summary: IchioxRyou Rated T for safety. It's a series of oneshot song fics. Somewhat Depressing... Ichigo goes Emo, Ryou falls into a coma, Ichigo hates Masaya, what's next? Read & Review.
1. Tourniquet

Hey! PhoenixTigerlily here I used to be amanogawa no taki. I don't own this song by evanescence or Tmm.

_Flashback_

_"Ichigo, I'm sorry. It's not you, it's me. I'm sorry." He said to a rose-headed girl. "Masaya, Why?" She inquired to the boy. "I've found someone better." She was strong. Never to show a tear to the one who broke her heart. "Then I'll leave." She did._

It had been three months since he left. Ichigo took it way too hard. The pain was killing her. She began cutting into her arm, shortly after. It made it the pain double.

_**I tried to kill my pain, **_

**_But only got more. _**

It began to feel better. She lay down on her now gothic style bed, after he left her world was black. Her room, once strawberries and fun, now was gothic emo, and depressing. Her hair once rose. Now was black, with red streaks grazing down here and there. She was dying, inside already dead. Since her parents died last year in a car accident, everyone was oblivious as to her knowledge. Except for one.

_**I lay dying,**_

But she was betrayed, she regretted ever loving him.

_**And I'm pouring,**_

_**Crimson regret,**_

_**And Betrayal.**_

She screamed as the pain wavered in, then back out.

_**I'm dying, praying,**_

**_Bleeding, and screaming._**

She began to question herself.

_**Am I too lost, to be saved?**_

_**Am I too lost?**_

She needed salvation.

_**My god, my tourniquet,**_

_**Return to me salvation.**_

_**My god, my tourniquet,**_

_**Return to me salvation.**_

'_Does he think about me at all any more? He's been gone so long.'_

**_Do you remember me,_**

**_Lost for so long,_**

'_Will you be there when I die, Masaya? Or will you forget I ever existed. Forever and always, Feh, some promise.'_

**_Will you be on the other side_**

**_Or will you forget me?_**

She prayed, for the bleeding to stop, to die.

**_I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming_**

'_There's no one to save me anymore, I'm too lost to be saved, there's no one else.' _

**_Am I too lost to be saved_**

**_Am I too lost?_**

'_No Salvation.'_

**_My God, my tourniquet_**

**_Return to me salvation._**

**_My God, my tourniquet_**

**_Return to me salvation._**

"I want to die! There's no one left!" She screamed.

**_I want to die!_**

**_My God, my tourniquet_**

**_Return to me salvation._**

**_My God, my tourniquet,_**

**_Return to me salvation._**

'_I need deliverance, I need to die." _ Ichigo grabbed a dagger, one that Kisshu had given her awhile back, saying if she ever wanted to kill Masaya, she'd have something to do it with. Back then of course, she thought that the very thought was ridiculous!

**_My wounds cry for the grave,_**

**_My soul cries for deliverance,_**

**_Will I be denied, Christ, tourniquet,_**

**_My suicide?_**

Ryou rushed into her room, right as she lifted the dagger. "Ichigo, NO!" He dived for her, knocking the dagger out of her hands. "WHAT IN THE SEVEN FREAKING HELLS ARE YOU DOING?" He had lost his control. "Rrr-yyy-oo-uu, I-I didn't know you cared." She said softly, nearly inaudible to trained cat ears. He instantly softened. She said Ryou. Not Shirogane. She called him by his first name. Ryou. "Of course I do. I always have. I love you Ichigo." "Ryou." She wrapped her arms around him, and kissed him. It probably would have lasted longer if not resulting in something else, but he felt her blood run down their intertwined arms. He pulled away. "Strawberry, I think you're bleeding." Her ears and tail though there was no bow, came out. He tried to grab her arm without hurting her but she struggled to get away. He was stronger. "Ichigo, who did this to you?" When she didn't speak, he knew the answer immediately. "Oh my god, why did you do this to yourself? You could have bled to death, you idiot!" He lost control again. "Ryou, what did you think I was doing before you came in?" Ryou's ears and tail popped out matching hers, as he for the first time in forever was embarrassed. "Oh, yeah." "Hey Ryou," "Hmm?" "Thanks." He smiled. "If I hadn't stopped you, I'd never be able to do this." He pushed her back on the bed and kissed her passionately, fiercely, but gentle nonetheless. "Ooo… I like it," She said once he pulled away for lack of air. "Oh yeah and Ry," "Hmm?" "Nice ears earlier." "What?" They came out again. She rubbed them and he purred. "Ah! Since when do my ears pop out?" He questioned when he realized why he was purring. "I dunno. I like them though fuzzy. Come on, I'm gonna need help bandaging my arm." "Okay, but promise to never ever call me fuzzy again." "Not in your life." He kissed her then shook his head. "What am I gonna do with that Baka-Strawberry."


	2. Imaginary

I don't own Imaginary by Evanescence or Tokyo Mew Mew…. If I did do you really think I'd be writing fan fiction????????????? (Please don't answer that…)

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"_Ryou……………………..."_

_I linger in the doorway_

"_Ryou, wake up!"_

_**I was unconscious at the time. During battle with Kish I got hit in the head by Tart from behind.**_

_  
Of alarm clocks, screaming  
Monsters calling my name  
_

"_Ryou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" _

_I can tell someone was speaking to me but I am too weak to wake up. I got beat up pretty badly…. Why won't they let me be?_

_Let me stay  
Where the wind will whisper to me_

**_  
I'm rather enjoying myself here._**

_Where the raindrops, as they're falling, tell a story_

_**It's raining like I like it and it seems like it's talking to me. I feel at rest for once…**  
_

_In my field of paper flowers_

_**I'm comfortable.**  
_

"_Come on, if you say you're such a stubborn bastard, then prove it by waking up.!"_

_And candy clouds of lullaby _

_**And I'm not in pain. Nor do I have to deal with Aoyama and Ichigo, The happiest freakin' couple in the world.**_

_  
I lie inside myself for hours_

_**I'll stay here forever,**_

_  
And watch my purple sky fly over me  
_

_**Locked into my coma.**_

"_Ryou, You can't leave, you have to wake up, you can do this! We'll do whatever it takes."_

_  
Don't say I'm out of touch_

_**It's not that I can't keep up…. I just don't want to.**_

_  
With this rampant chaos - your reality_

_**I'm sick of dealing with acting like I don't love her.**_

_  
"Ryou, there's too many people who need, care, and love you. Keiichiro needs you, the Mew Mews need you, Pudding needs you, Lettuce needs you, Mint needs you, I need you…" Zakuro's voice rang pure._

_**What about Ichigo? I guess she doesn't need, care, or love me…**_

_I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge_

_**I know what I'll have to face when I wake up.**_

"_Ichigo's crying in the corner for you… She needs you, Ryou… Dammit, Ryou, Wake up!" This time I think it was Mint. _

_  
The nightmare I built my own world to escape_

"_Ichigo broke up with Masaya last week for you… She was going to ask you out… Ryou, she loves you…" It was Lettuce. _

_**So why wake up…**_

_In my field of paper flowers  
and candy clouds of lullaby  
_

"_Ryou, wake up! Pudding wants you to wake up!!!" A bawling Pudding cried._

_I lie inside myself for hours_

_**I tried not to listen… they knew it would make me want to wake up……**_

_  
and watch my purple sky fly over me  
_

**_But why?_**

**_When the one I love doesn't care._**

_  
Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming  
_

**_I've cried for her at nights _**

_Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights  
_

_**Sometimes I wake up screaming.**_

_Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming_

_**I wish I could sleep without her face appearing in my dreams…**_

"_Ryou, I love you…"_

_The goddess of imaginary light_

**_I woke up. I looked around at my surroundings, when Ichigo bent down and kissed me. Just another nightmare to haunt me, Forever._**

"Oh my god, Ryou, you're awake! I thought I'd lost you forever. I love you!" Her smile brightened the room. So maybe I wasn't dreaming.


	3. Thoughtless

Disclaimer: Not the Rei- Rei's……..

A/N: This is Ichigo's POV toward Masaya…… she's thinking about him. any questions just email me. If you don't think this is clear enough I can add another chapter to it. Sorry there's a bit mor cussing than there normally would be.

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Masaya, I hate you so much……

_All of my hate cannot be found_

You tried to control me……

_I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming_

Then stabbed me in the back….

_So you can try to tear me down_

Insulting me, beating up on me, but that's ok. Your time will come……

_Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming_

I debate with myself the best way to kill you……

_Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies_

You haven't shown me mercy, so why should I show you any?

_Pushing all the mercy down, down, down_

Just take a swing, Come on, try…….

_I wanna see you try to take a swing at me_

I have too many who will defend me now, including myself.

_Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground_

I found out that you were talking about me behind my back.

_Why are you trying to make fun of me?_

What's so funny? You act like I don't give a damn anymore….

_You think it's funny? What the fuck you think it's doing to me?_

Go ahead, try to lash out. That's fine.

_You take your turn lashing out at me_

I'll go heroine on your sorry ass…. with no remorse.

_I want you crying when you're dirty ass in front of me_

I can't gather up all of my hatred toward you.

_All of my hate cannot be found_

There's not enough time in the world.

_I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming_

Or enough room.

_So you can try to tear me down_

Come on, lash out again.

_Beat me to the ground_

Your time will come.

_I will see you screaming_

Hmm…. The best way to kill you….

_Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies_

All I know is I'll be standing above you, smiling, AS YOU DROWN!

_I'm above you, smiling at you, drown, drown, drown_

All those time's you've raped me….

_I wanna kill and rape you the way you raped me_

Well, I can wipe away those memories,

_And I'll pull the trigger And you're down, down, down_

By wiping out you.

_Why are you trying to make fun of me?_

What the hell did you think this would do to me?

_You think it's funny? What the fuck you think it's doing to me?_

Your twisted pleasure sickens everyone around you.

_You take your turn lashing out at me_

That's okay, the only way you'll make me happy is if you're dead and gone….

_I want you crying when you're dirty ass in front of me_

After everything you've put me through, you want to get back together???

_All of my hate cannot be found_

No way.

_I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming_

I'm not letting you destroy my life again.

_So you can try to tear me down_

I've fixed it once already. I'm not gonna do it again.

_Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming_

I hope you are happy. You ruined my social life.

_All my friends are gone_

To them, I'm dead.

_they died (gonna take you down)_

They begged me to stay.

_They all screamed, and cried (gonna take you down)_

Then you decided I wasn't going to.

_Never gonna forget, never forget, how we hate the world_

I'll never forgive you Aoyama,

_Never gonna forget, never forget, how we hate the world_

For that shit especially.

_Never gonna forget, never forget, how we hate the world_

I have friends now who back me up.

I have Ryou, who loves me. More than you ever could.

_Never gonna forget, never forget, how we hate the world_

And we're gonna take you down.

_(Gonna take you down)_

_All of my hate cannot be found_

You cheated

_I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming_

You lied,

_So you can try to tear me down_

You stole,

_And beat me to the ground I will see you screaming_

And you humiliated me.

_All of my hate cannot be found_

That's just the beginning of the list.

_I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming_

But it won't hold me back.

_So you can try to tear me down_

Just because you yanked me out of school,

Just because you threatened my parents,

Just because you raped me,

Just because you beat me,

_Beat me to the ground_

Just because you pushed away my friends when I couldn't stand up to you,

Just because you ruined my life,

**Your pathetic ass is mine.**

_I will see you screaming…_


	4. Cloud Nine

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMM or Cloud Nine.**

**Read and Review.**

She wanted to live,

She had finally found her reason to stay alive – Ryou.

But she was dying,

Deep Blue had fired a fatal shot to her chest, though he had broken her heart once.

_If you want to live, let live._

But for once she was painless,

She's happy, but not completely.

_If you want to go, let go._

She saw a white light, beginning to walk towards it; she saw her late parents, and the rest of her family, waiting for her.

But he wasn't there.

Where was Ryou????

Then Ichigo realized what was going on – she was dying.

She wasn't afraid,

She just wasn't ready,

She still had other things to do.

_I'm not afraid to dream, to sleep, sleep forever._

It wouldn't be the same though, not without him.

_I don't need to touch the sky_

She had left Masaya long ago, when she found out he was evil, and when he had stopped calling her, visiting her, and taking her places.

_I just want to feel that high_

She could no longer say he was hers, they were too distant.

Even when she needed him he wasn't there.

_And you refuse to lift me._

Maybe it was false love,

_Guess it wasn't real after all._

Maybe it was never love,

_Guess it wasn't real all along._

Maybe it was stupidity, blindness, and emptiness.

_If I fall and all is lost,_

If she died it'd be okay.

_It's where I belong._

I can fit in here, in heaven.

_If you want to live, let live_

But I don't want to die.

_If you want to go, let go._

Not now, Masaya wasn't worth it, he wasn't worth giving into.

_I'm never going to be your sweet, sweet surrender._

Because it was false,

_Guess it wasn't real after all._

It always was, always had been.

_Guess it wasn't real all along._

She wasn't ready,

_If I fall and all is lost,_

She had Ryou, and the Mews, and Keiichiro.

_No light to lead the way_

At least, she thought,

_Remember that all alone is where I belong._

This is soooooooo weird.

I know these people….

Who are they?

_In a dream,_

That boy, with the blonde hair, and the crystal eyes,

_Will you give your love to me?_

I know him,

I loved him,

A long time ago...

_Beg my broken heart to beat,_

I know this place,

It's the ballroom, in the civic center, why am I wearing a ball gown?

There he is- he can save me, but who is he?

And why do I need saving?

_Save my life, change my mind._

Then I remembered.

I am dying, and they'll be dead soon without me.

_If I fall and all is lost_

I'm sorry, but I can't keep friends.

I'm the only survivor of that horrible fire at my house.

Masaya doesn't love me, Ryou and Keiichiro can't save me.

The mews are useless.

_No light to lead the way._

I have no reason to go on,

I'll die soon anyway.

So why not get it over with?

_Remember that all alone is where I belong._

The monitor flat lined, and Ryou knew the second it happened.

"Kei, get down here!" He screamed, frantically for his partner's presence.

"Ryou," A smooth, male answered. "Ryou, what's wrong?" Keiichiro questioned, worriedly glancing at his best friend's face as he ran down the stairs.

"It's Ichigo, she's flat-lining," as Keiichiro quickened his pace down the stairs. "GIRLS, GET DOWN HERE NOW!!!!!" Ryou urgently added. 'Oh, God, please, please don't let her die. Anything but let don't let her die.'

'_Uuuggggh… I feel… Awful, what's wrong with me?I can't think straight, and I can't find anyone! Where...' _ Ichigo's head was spinning.

"What Ryou, What's wrong?" The worried voice of Lettuce traveled downward as the Mews rushed forward.

"It's Ichigo, she's… s-she's," He broke down, unable to take it any longer.

"Calm down, Ryou. It won't help anything or anyone." All of the sudden he noticed a line begin to rise, followed by a faint beep. He pointed it out to the others and decided that maybe if they started talking then Ichigo would realize that they were there. They all began at once to talk but Keiichiro and Zakuro quickly hushed them, saying they should do it one at a time, allowing her to register what was going on and who was speaking.

_'I hear voices, where are they coming from? They're so… familiar.'_

"Ichigo, it's me, Keiichiro, and I want you to know that we care so much and we want, no, need you to wake up."

"Ichigo, Hang on for us, ok?" Zakuro asked, tears beginning to show on her face

"It's Minto, You're my best friend and I love you so much."

"Onee-chan, Pudding misses you, Na no da."

"Ichigo, We need you, please, Ichigo, we love you." Lettuce broke down. Ryou had remained silent, too lost in thought about what would happen if she never woke up.

"It's Ryou. I love you, and you mean more to me than you'll ever know. Please wake up. I love you t-too m-much for to lose y-you. Please wake up, Ichigo, PLEASE WAKR UP!!!" He finally broke into tears. "Oh God, what am I going to do?"

A fierce battle was raging in Ichigo's mind.

I know those voices…

'_I would hope so stupid, they're your friends.'_

Yes but who are they?

'_If you were listening then you'd have heard. Most said they're names.'_

I'm sorry, I was too busy to figure out how I got here and who's talking.

'_If you must know, it was the Mews, and Keiichiro and your boyfriend Ryou.'_

The blond?

'_Of course the blond. But, enough dilly-dally. You need to come with me…'_

Where?

'_To the after life, duh.'_

What if I don't wanna go?

'_Then stay… Wake up.'_

Is it that simple?

But no one answered…

I opened my eyes. They were all there; the Mews, Keiichiro, the aliens, and Ryou.

"OH MY GOD, ICHIGO!" Ryou, who was sitting beside me, turned around and wrapped me in his arms. "You're back, you're back, thank Kami, You're back!"  
"Um…" I hugged back. "I don't remember going anywhere." Then it all came back to me. The battle, the fight, Masaya, my parents, everything. Including almost dying. "Oh my god, I remember." With that I pulled him into a kiss.

"I love you, Ryou, more than anything."

"I love you too."

**Sorry **that took so long, busy with school but now… **I'M FREE!!! **(laughs manically)

Review… If you send me a song I'll make a story out of it.


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